I’ve been feeling really good lately. My energy has really been holding up. I even have days where I push myself and I don’t have a hardcore crash! So what is different in my life? What has changed? Is it just time? Time does heal all wounds, doesn’t it?
I’m going to keep this short because I’m not too much in the mood of writing, but I wanted to get this down. I’ve been happy. Why? If you’ve read my blog in the past you would have definitely read about “California boy”. The guy that I met in NYC along time ago before the CFS, who then moved to California for a few years. We reconnected over the Internet while he was in CA. And it was pretty passionate as far as a internet relationship can go. I even went to California to see him. I was in pretty bad shape with my fatigue. We stayed in touch after that but we finally drifted apart. But just when he was almost out of my mind….he came back to New York. And I’ll just say that I’ve been very, very happy that he’s here. Trying to have a relationship while struggling with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is not easy (and that’s a whole other blog post). But I’ve found over the past few months that he’s been here, my energy has gotten better. And I’m very happy. Not only have I been able to see him, my social life has picked up and my crazy job as a tv producer has been going pretty well. I think our internet “relationship” spanned about one and a half to two years. Our New York “relationship” has only lasted a few months, and it may be over. Maybe because it’s real life now and not the internet. I know the feelings of love have made me feel better. I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know what I want to happen. I hope this stepping stone will lead me to greater things to come….
Through out the seven years of my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome I have never dealt with pain. Only achy legs once in a blue moon. I’ve been experiencing pelvic pain. I can go on and on about the CFS but the pelvic pain I don’t want to talk about. It’s a sensitive subject. Being the insane reader that I am, I read a book by Dr. Sarno- The Mind Body Prescription. It states that body “syndromes” are trapped emotions in the body. I’m starting to become a big believer in this subject. While I do believe being gaga for this boy has helped me, I have been talking to a Hypno Analysist. We have gone deep down into the depths of my mind, my memory, my childhood. I feel like whatever emotional pain is stuck inside me is slowly coming out.
The pelvic pain may have just started but I’m not letting it stay. I’ve learned too much on my journey of Chronic Fatigue. I’ve also enlisted a mind body coach to help me. We’ve just started but I’m already learning techniques like Byron Katie’s The Work to help me deal. (Check it out on the web).
Ok, this post is way too long! I could keep going but I have to do my mind body homework and then go to bed!